Saturday, February 06, 2010

Huffington Post had a blog entitled "Share Your Story" which asked people to write about how they discuss politics so, naturally, I obliged. It may be posted or not.

I am 61 years old. I became political when I attended the so called "Berkley of the East," Boston University in the late 60's. It was a turbulent era and I loved it. I listened and hung on every radical word of the most leftist professors, had all night bull sessions with fellow classmates and talked politics non-stop. I thought we were ushering in a new era with peace, love and flowers in the air always; when there would be no more war and wealth would be more evenly distributed. I truly thought men would always have long hair and most would walk around the world bare foot. The change I thought would be permanent. It wasn't but I never, since that transforming time, stopped thinking or talking about politics as I tried to figure out who was right, who was wrong and what the difference between left and right was anyway. I am still thinking about it. I loved that time and consider it the best time of my life by far.

I changed, of course, grew older, grayer, and suffered losses of parents, family and close friends. I never did become the radical I thought I always would be as moderation overcame my youth with age.

Because of that time though, I became freer, more in tune with my environment, am more health conscious and environmental friendly. I also managed to find a person who unconditionally loves me. Through it all I toughed life out despite its disappointments and because of the disability of polio, an anachronism now, that took its toll as I aged. I worked hard in the legal field until I could not work any longer as my will said yes but my body negated it. I worked not because I loved it because but because I had to. So when I retired I began to do what I always wanted to do and that is write political and social opinion. That is what I do 24/7 or just about.

I still discuss it with those who will suffer through it and I write opinion and blog continuously. The professors at BU like the deceased Howard Zinn gave me the desire to experience another day because of the window onto the political and historical world that they opened. The computer gave me the vehicle to write about it.

I cannot believe there will come a time when I do not exist and will never know how much of it turns out. I cannot believe that my era someday will be the ancient history that the Romans and Greeks were to me. It is hard to conceptualize one's end and because I never had children the only legacy, if I want to call it that, will be the things I write if someday, perhaps, some historian studying this era comes across in some dusty corner the many opinions I have written. Well, I can hope anyway. Otherwise, for me, what is life all about?
My Depth of Despair and My Heights of Anger -- I am emotionally spent. After the health care debacle and the Coakley election, all the hard work so many of us put in week after week, day after day, hour after hour, creating emails, letters, articles to papers, telephone calls, conversations and anything else one could do only to see our causes fail. I am SO dismayed and so sad about our president's lack of effective leadership and how to USE the power of the presidency and shape Congress I am thinking about stepping on my own toes and backing away from the political fray. The president INEFFECTIVELY in an attempt to return the balance of power to a Congress which does not know what to do with it handed power over to them with little direction. Congress has conflicting interests beholden to big pharma, big insurance or their own states, gets little done on the big issues of our time: bank regulation, jobs, and health care. Both parties, as Bill Moyers said, are equal opportunity employers of big corporate lobbyists and money. The lobbyists are gracious and will give to any party. It is beyond insane that in the middle of a near Depression and when health care and jobs for Main Street are in the mix to help get us out of this quagmire, to decide one is going to return power to an entity, Congress, that is spinning around blindfolded not knowing what to do next even begging for White House leadership.

This is NOT Harvard Law Review and it's not 1789 with a country of only thirteen colonies. It is 2010 with country population of over 300,000,000 on the heals of a near Depression with lives and generations hanging in the balance. If health care and a solid jobs bill die, my heart is dead for this president. I will not invest the time, money and emotional effort to support him. I have to see a change in him returning to what I thought he was in the first place especially on the big ticket items. I feel like a jilted lover. I am upset, furious, demoralized and just plain sad how a Democratic Party could squander the total control it had of Congress AND the presidency with a mandate from the people for change. This WAS my dream come true. The dream is turning into a nightmare because, I believe, the president has NOT led effectively. He speaks loftily with or without a teleprompter but he does NOT lead. He apparently does not know how or is relying on poor advice from his minions which turn its back on the desperate needs of the people. Maybe, too, big pharma and big insurance are simply even bigger than he.

Whatever the reason, he is the leader of our party. Yes, he has done some things that are laudable BUT on the big things he has fallen woefully short. How the Democratic Party did not see the handwriting on the wall with the Coakley election until it was MUCH too late, I will never know. The National Democratic Party and the president as its leader FAILED to keep Ted Kennedy's seat. I STILL cannot believe it. Teddy Kennedy would not believe it either that a party and a president could fail SO dismally when power was at their feet -- and still is -- waiting for them to grab it. It is a damnable thing to those of us who care about human rights and humanitarian principles. I thought Barack Obama was on our side. Often, I do not, so far, see that he is.
I just read on Huffington that Obama admitted health care may not pass. I am FURIOUS. I am FURIOUS because I invested so much time in this guy and I was WRONG about him. You know. I LOATH him now because his modus operandi is USELESS for the 21st century. This is not 1789. I am glad he is for the separation of powers OH SURE I AM NOT. That moronic over thought idiocy will mean people will die with no health care and I lay it at HIS feet. And the Republicans a huge MINORITY gloat with a HUGE DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY which we will NEVER have again. He did NOT and does not know how to work congress...he is INEXPERIENCED and does not know how to do it. What a shame. Yes, other peripheral things he got but it is NOT enough. On the BIG things he is a FAILURE and he was MUCH too late to rescue Coakley or better still have gotten a better candidate. Brown changed everything and Teddy is rolling around in his grave. What a TRAVESTY for Democrats. For the first time in my life of voting 40 years I will vote 2012 out of spite Republican even IF I have to step on my own toes to do it. Unless the Dems put up another candidate for 2012...I consider him a NON entity. ALL those hours and hours I spent either working for him or writing or sending emails by the hundreds.. He is ALL flowery talk and lousy leadership. My thoughts are stream of conscious. Speaker Pelosi is the ONLY one who knows how to use power and do it effectively. This criticism is NOT about her. It is about the president and other toxic members of the Congress.

NO one knows how much I hate Republicans BUT I am going to step on my own toes and work AGAINST Obama. I LOVED this guy and I am disappointed beyond repair unless something passes on health care. HE IS IMPOTENT...his method of using power is IDIOTIC This is NOT Harvard Law Review AND this is NOT 1789....THIS IS A COUNTRY THAT NEEDS GUIDANCE it needs a STRONG executive. I wasn't so much against Bush's ideas of a strong executive as I was against HIS POLICIES but Obama's policies I am for. HE WILL NOT NOT NOT get my vote in 2012. I will work against him that is how angry I am. I am a Democrat's Democrat but with all the hype and positive talking heads leading us into NOTHING I am FURIOUS..I don't care if the Republicans put up Attila the Hun...I am going to work HARD against Obama because of this health care MADNESS...how many wasted absolutely WASTED hours!!!!!!!!!!He stinks and many in Congress ESPECIALLY the Senate stinks. I will work against Obama because he has shown NO leadership for the 21st century on the BIG issues. This is NOT the 18th century!!!!!!!!!!!!